面倒をかける

You usually pair this with an apology like sumimasen or gomen. To use it, simply state the phrase and follow it with your apology. If you're talking to a boss, use the formal mendō o okake shite. If you're with a close friend, mendō kakete gomen works perfectly. It’s very flexible and fits into many sentence structures. You can use it before asking for a favor or after the favor is done. It’s like a polite warning that you’re about to be high-maintenance.

Use it when a colleague fixes a mistake you made on a report. Use it when a friend helps you move your heavy sofa. It’s perfect for when you ask a waiter for a complicated menu change. Even texting a friend to ask for a ride deserves this phrase. If you feel even a tiny bit guilty about a request, say it. It shows you are self-aware and not just taking people for granted. It’s the ultimate 'I owe you one' verbal signal.

Don't use this for massive, life-altering mistakes or legal trouble. For those, you need the much stronger meiwaku o kakeru. Also, don't use it for tiny things like passing the salt. That would make you sound strangely dramatic or overly sensitive. If someone is doing their basic job without extra effort, skip it. You don't want to sound like you're constantly walking on eggshells. Use it when there’s a real, tangible 'extra' effort involved.

Japan is a 'high-context' society where harmony is everything. The concept of meiwaku (nuisance) is taught from a very young age. Children are told 'don't cause trouble for others' constantly. Mendō o kakeru is the linguistic tool used to manage this social pressure. By admitting you are a bother, you actually become less of one. It’s a bit of a psychological paradox that keeps society polite. It’s not about shame; it’s about mutual respect and acknowledgment.

The most common formal version is mendō o okake shimasu. In business, you might hear gomendō o okake itashimasu for maximum politeness. On the flip side, friends might just say mendō kakete wari-ne. You can also use it in the past tense: mendō o kakeshimashita. This is for when the 'trouble' is finally over. Each variation adjusts the 'volume' of your politeness and regret.