Und dir?

First, wait for the other person to ask how you are. Answer with something simple like Gut, danke (Good, thanks). Then, immediately follow up with Und dir?. It shows you actually care about their day too. You can use it in person, over the phone, or in a quick text message. It is like the tennis return of the German language. Just keep the ball in play.

Use this with people you know well or people your own age. It is perfect for friends, family, and classmates. If you are at a cafe and the barista is being friendly, it works there too. Use it when you want to keep the vibe relaxed. It is the heartbeat of everyday small talk. It turns a one-sided report into a real social exchange.

Avoid this phrase in high-stakes formal settings. Do not say it to your boss during a performance review. Do not say it to a police officer or a government official. In those cases, dir is too cozy. You would use Und Ihnen? instead. Using dir with a stranger over 50 might get you some side-eye. It is a bit like calling a judge "dude."

Germans value directness, but they also value the ritual of the greeting. While Americans might say "How are you?" as a hello, Germans often take the question literally. If you ask, they might actually tell you! Und dir? is the bridge that keeps that honesty flowing both ways. It reflects the German social structure of Du (informal) versus Sie (formal). Choosing dir means you are in the inner circle.

If you want to sound even more casual, you can just say Und selbst? (And yourself?). In some regions, you might hear Und bei dir? (And at your place/with you?). If you are feeling extra lazy, a simple Und du? is sometimes used, though Und dir? is grammatically better for the "How are you" context. Stick with the classic until you feel like a local.