Could: Polite Requests

Technically, could is the past tense of can. But don't let that confuse you! When we make requests, we aren't talking about the past. We use the past form to create "distance." This distance makes the request feel less direct. A direct request can sometimes feel like a command. By using could, you are being indirect and gentle. It is like standing a few feet back instead of being in someone's face. In your brain, think of it as a "softness filter" for your sentences. It works with almost any action verb. You don't need to change could for different people. It stays the same for I, you, he, she, or they. This makes it much easier to remember than other verbs. It is a stable, reliable friend in your vocabulary.

1. 1Creating a request with could is as easy as making a sandwich. Just follow these three simple steps:
2. 2Start your sentence with the word Could.
3. 3Add the person you are asking (usually you or I).
4. 4Add the base verb (the simple form of the action).
5. 5Structure: Could + [Subject] + [Base Verb] + [Rest of Sentence]?
6. 6Example: Could + you + pass + the salt?
7. 7Notice that we do not use to after could. Never say Could you to help me. That is a common trap! Also, remember that could does not change. We never say Coulds you or Coulding. It is perfectly static. If you want to be extra polite, add please at the end. Or, you can put please right after the subject. For example: Could you please open the window? It is simple, clean, and very effective.

Use could when you are talking to people you don't know well. Imagine you are lost in London. You see a stranger. You wouldn't say "Tell me the way." You would say, Could you tell me the way to the station? This immediately makes the stranger want to help you. Use it at work when talking to your boss or a client. It shows you are a professional. Use it in service situations, like ordering a coffee or asking for a menu. Could I have a latte, please? sounds much better than "I want a latte." It is also great for sensitive situations. If someone is being loud, Could you speak a bit lower? is much better than "Be quiet!" Basically, use it whenever you want to be a delightful human being. It is the grammar equivalent of a warm smile.

Believe it or not, you can be *too* polite. Don't use could with your very best friends for tiny things. If you ask your roommate, Could you possibly pass the remote? they might think you are being sarcastic. For close friends and family, can is usually just fine. Also, do not use could in a life-or-death emergency. If a piano is falling on someone, don't say, Could you move? Just yell "Move!" Speed is more important than manners in a crisis. Finally, don't use it when you are giving a direct order that must be followed. If you are a police officer telling someone to stop, could is too weak. Use it for favors and requests, not for legal requirements or urgent safety warnings.

Yes, even native speakers mess this up sometimes! The biggest mistake is adding to. Remember: Could you help me? is perfect. Could you to help me? is wrong. Another mistake is using could to answer the question. If someone asks, Could you help me?, don't answer with Yes, I could. That sounds like you have the ability but aren't actually saying "yes." Instead, say Yes, of course! or Sure, I can. Another mix-up is using could for things you are definitely going to do. Could I pay now? is a request. If you are just stating a fact, use I will. Think of it like a grammar traffic light. Could is the yellow light—it’s cautious and respectful. Don't speed through it by forgetting the question mark at the end of your sentence!

How does could compare to its cousins?

• Can: This is the casual version. Use it with friends. It’s like wearing a t-shirt.
• Could: This is the polite version. Use it with strangers or bosses. It’s like wearing a nice shirt.
• May: This is very formal. It is mostly used for asking permission (May I?). It feels a bit old-fashioned.
• Would you mind: This is the "super polite" version. It is followed by an -ing verb. Would you mind opening the door?

If can is a 5/10 on the politeness scale, could is an 8/10. It hits the "sweet spot." It is polite enough for a job interview but not so formal that you sound like a Victorian butler. It is the most versatile choice for any B1 learner.