Phrasal Verb: 'Face up to' (Accept)

This is a three-part phrasal verb. Some call it a phrasal-prepositional verb. Don't let the long name scare you. It just means it is a package deal. You cannot chop it up. You cannot move the pieces around. Face, up, and to are best friends. They go everywhere together. If you move one, the meaning breaks. It is also transitive. This means it always needs an object. You must face up to *something*. You can't just say "I faced up" and stop. Your friends will be waiting for the rest of the sentence. It is like a bridge that must lead somewhere. Without the object, the bridge just hangs over a cliff.

1. 1Start with the base verb face.
2. 2Add the particle up immediately after.
3. 3Add the preposition to right after that.
4. 4Finish with a noun or a gerund (-ing form).
5. 5Example: face (verb) + up + to + the facts (noun).
6. 6Example: face (verb) + up + to + losing (gerund) + the contract.
7. 7Remember, only the verb face changes for time. Use faced for the past. Use facing for the continuous. The up and to never change. They are solid as a rock. It is like a grammar traffic light; the colors change, but the pole stays put.

Use this when the truth is a bit salty. It is perfect for job interviews. "I had to face up to my lack of experience." This shows character and maturity. Use it in your personal life too. "You need to face up to the fact that the relationship is over." It is for serious, often negative, realities. It implies you were avoiding the truth before. You were running, but now you have stopped. It is a "reality check" in verb form. Use it when there is a sense of responsibility involved. If you made a mistake, this is your go-to phrase. It sounds much more professional than just saying "I know I messed up."

Avoid this for small, trivial matters. If you forgot to buy milk, don't use it. "I must face up to the empty fridge" sounds like a bad poem. Unless the lack of milk is a life-changing crisis, keep it simple. Also, do not use it for positive events. You don't face up to winning the lottery. You don't face up to a surprise birthday party. This verb carries the weight of difficulty. If there is no struggle or avoidance, don't use it. It would be like wearing a suit of armor to go get the mail. It is just too much for the occasion.

The biggest trap is the "sandwich" mistake. People try to put the object in the middle. "I faced the truth up to." This is a grammar crime. Keep the trio together. Another mistake is forgetting the to. "He finally faced up his debt." This is incorrect. Without the to, the bridge to the object is gone. You are just standing on a ledge. Don't use the infinitive after it either. "Face up to pay" is wrong. Use the gerund: "Face up to paying." Lastly, don't confuse it with face. Just facing something is neutral. Facing up to something is a mental shift. Yes, even native speakers mess this up when they are tired!

Compare face up to with accept. Accept is a very broad word. You accept a gift or an invitation. Face up to is much narrower. You only use it for things that are hard to swallow. It has more "grit." Then there is confront. Confronting someone is often aggressive. You confront a liar. But you face up to your own mistakes. One is outward, the other is usually inward. It is about your own mental state. There is also deal with. Deal with is about the action you take. Face up to is about the moment you stop lying to yourself. You face up to the problem before you deal with it.