～たがる (tagaru) - Expressing Others' Desires in Japanese

In Japanese, ～たい is for your own desires. It is a very private, internal feeling. You cannot truly know if someone else feels ～たい. You can only see them acting like they do. That is where ～がる comes in. It attaches to the ～たい form. It transforms the adjective-like たい into a verb. This verb describes an outward display of emotion. It is like a grammar bridge. It connects what someone feels to what they are doing. Usually, you will see it as ～たがっている. This means they are "currently showing signs" of wanting something. It is the most common way to use this rule.

1. 1Creating this form is a three-step process. It looks like a little math equation.
2. 2Start with the ます stem of any verb. For 飲む (nomu), it is 飲み (nomi).
3. 3Add たい (tai) to the stem. Now you have 飲みたい (nomitai).
4. 4Drop the final い (i). Then add がる (garu) or がっている (gatte iru).
5. 5Result: 飲みたがる (nomitagaru) or 飲みたがっている (nomitagatte iru).
6. 6It works for all verb groups. Even irregular ones like する (suru) become したがる (shitagaru). Just remember to kick that final い out of the house. It is not invited to this party.

Use this when you see someone acting on a desire. Imagine your younger brother staring at your pizza. He has not said a word. But his eyes are huge. You would say 弟がピザを食べたがっている (My brother wants to eat pizza). Use it for general tendencies too. Maybe your cat always wants to go outside. That is a habit. You would use 猫は外に出たがる (Cats tend to want to go out). It is perfect for describing people's personalities. Some people always want to be the center of attention. They are 目立ちたがる (medachitagaru). It is also great for social commentary. You can talk about what "young people" or "tourists" want to do. It is the language of observation and empathy.

Never use ～たがる for yourself. It sounds like you are watching yourself from across the room. It is very strange! If you want water, just say 水が飲みたい. Do not say 私は水を飲みたがる. Also, avoid using it for people of much higher status. It can sound a bit like you are analyzing them. It is like a grammar traffic light. Red light for your boss! For them, use more polite forms like ～たいとおっしゃっています. Finally, do not use it if the person literally just told you what they want. If they say "I want to go," just report it. Use ～たいと言っています. ～たがる is specifically for when their behavior gives them away.

The biggest trap is forgetting the particle change. Usually, ～たい uses the particle が. For example, 水が飲みたい. But ～たがる is a full-blown verb. It almost always takes the particle を. So, it becomes 水を飲みたがっている. Yes, even native speakers mess this up sometimes! Another mistake is using the plain ～たがる for a specific moment. If someone is reaching for a cookie right now, use ～たがっている. The plain ～たがる is for general habits. Think of it like a photo versus a video. ～たがる is a general photo. ～たがっている is the live video feed.

How does this differ from ～そうです (seems like)? ～そうです is based purely on visual appearance. It is a guess. ～たがる implies the person is actively showing the desire through behavior. It is a stronger observation. What about ～たいと言っている? That is for direct quotes. If they said it, use that. If they are just acting like it, use ～たがる. Think of ～たい as the "Inner Voice." Think of ～たがる as the "Outer Action." One is the secret. The other is the secret getting out.