Esquecer-se (To Forget)

In Portuguese, esquecer can be a normal verb or a reflexive one. If you use it normally, it’s simple. You just say what you forgot. For example, Eu esqueci o guarda-chuva. But if you make it reflexive, things get interesting. You add a pronoun like me or se. Then, you MUST add the preposition de. It’s a package deal. You can't have the pronoun without the de. Imagine they are best friends who go everywhere together. If you say Eu me esqueci, your listener is waiting for that de. If you leave it out, the sentence feels naked. Native speakers use the reflexive version esquecer-se de very often. It feels a bit more personal. It’s like saying "I found myself forgetting" rather than just "I forgot." In Brazil, you might hear people mix them up. They might say esqueci de. Technically, that’s a grammar "no-no" in formal writing. But in the streets, it happens. For your B1 journey, stick to the two clear paths. Either go full reflexive or stay simple and direct.

1. 1Using these two styles requires a bit of mental gymnastics at first. Here is how you build them step-by-step:
2. 2The Direct Method (esquecer)
3. 3Pick your subject (Eu, Tu, Ele, etc.).
4. 4Conjugate esquecer in the correct tense.
5. 5Put the object right after the verb.
6. 6Example: Nós esquecemos o bolo (We forgot the cake).
7. 7The Reflexive Method (esquecer-se de)
8. 8Pick your subject.
9. 9Add the matching reflexive pronoun (me, te, se, nos).
10. 10Conjugate esquecer normally.
11. 11Add the preposition de (or its contractions like do, da, dos, das).
12. 12Put the object at the end.
13. 13Example: Eu me esqueci do aniversário (I forgot [about] the birthday).
14. 14Remember that de + o becomes do. And de + a becomes da. This is where most people trip up. It’s like a grammar tax you have to pay for being fancy with pronouns.

Use the direct version esquecer when you want to be quick and clear. It’s great for everyday objects. "I forgot my keys" or "I forgot my phone." It’s the "no-frills" version of Portuguese. It works perfectly in a job interview or when talking to your boss. You sound efficient and direct. Use the reflexive version esquecer-se de when you want to sound more natural in conversation. It’s very common in Portugal and in careful Brazilian speech. It adds a slight layer of "it happened to me." Use it for abstract things too. Forgetting a date, a promise, or a specific detail about a story. If you’re at a dinner party, using esqueci-me de will make you sound much more fluent. It shows you’ve mastered the relationship between pronouns and prepositions. It’s like moving from black-and-white to color. Both show the picture, but one has more depth.

Don't use the reflexive version if you aren't prepared to use the preposition de. It’s a common trap. You start the sentence with Eu me esqueci... and then your brain freezes. If you don't follow up with de, the sentence is broken. Also, don't use esquecer when you actually mean "to leave behind" in a specific place. In that case, we often use deixar. For example, if you left your bag at the restaurant, Deixei a minha mala no restaurante is better. Esqueci implies a mental lapse. Deixar implies the physical act of leaving it there. If you say you "forgot" your bag in the restaurant, people will understand. But deixei is more precise. Also, avoid using the reflexive version in very short, clipped commands unless you want to sound very emphatic. "Don't forget!" is usually just Não esqueça! or Não se esqueça!.

Mixing the two structures is the number one mistake. You’ll hear people say Eu me esqueci o livro. Wrong! You forgot the de. It should be Eu me esqueci do livro. Or they say Eu esqueci do livro. Wrong again! You added a de but forgot the pronoun. It should be Eu esqueci o livro. Think of it like a seesaw. You need weight on both sides (pronoun and preposition) or no weight at all. Another mistake is forgetting to contract de with the article. Saying esqueci-me de o nome sounds very robotic. Always contract it to do nome. Finally, don't forget that the pronoun position can change. In some regions or contexts, you might say Esqueci-me (common in Portugal) or Me esqueci (common in Brazil). Both are okay, just stay consistent within your conversation!

This "pronoun + preposition" dance isn't just for forgetting. The verb lembrar (to remember) follows the exact same logic. You can say Lembro o seu nome or Lembro-me do seu nome. Mastering esquecer actually gives you a two-for-one deal! You’re learning the logic for two of the most common verbs in the language. Another similar one is recordar. However, recordar is almost always direct. You just say Recordo aquele dia. You rarely see recordar-se de in casual speech. It’s a bit more poetic or formal. So, if you learn the esquecer / lembrar twins, you’ve conquered a huge part of Portuguese verb logic. It’s like learning how to drive an automatic car and realizing all automatic cars work the same way. You’ve got the pattern down.