durch die Blume sagen
To hint at
Literally: to say through the flower
Use this when you need to be honest without being hurtful or overly aggressive in social situations.
In 15 Seconds
- To give a hint instead of being blunt.
- Softening a harsh truth with diplomatic language.
- Hiding criticism behind polite or indirect words.
Meaning
This phrase describes saying something critical or unpleasant in a very indirect, polite, or sugar-coated way. It is the German equivalent of 'beating around the bush' but specifically focuses on softening a harsh truth.
Key Examples
3 of 6Criticizing a colleague's work
Ich habe ihm durch die Blume gesagt, dass der Bericht zu lang ist.
I told him indirectly that the report is too long.
Telling a friend they have bad breath
Kannst du es ihr nicht mal durch die Blume sagen?
Can't you hint at it to her somehow?
A boss giving a subtle warning
Der Chef hat uns durch die Blume gesagt, dass wir mehr arbeiten müssen.
The boss hinted to us that we need to work harder.
Cultural Background
The phrase originates from the 'Floriography' trend of the Romantic era, where flowers acted as a secret code for emotions. In German culture, while directness is often expected, this idiom highlights the importance of 'Gesichtswahrung' (saving face) in professional or delicate social hierarchies.
The 'Anti-Flower'
If you want someone to be direct with you, say: 'Sag es mir bitte ohne Blume!' It's a cool way to ask for total honesty.
German Directness
Germans are known for being direct, so when they DO use this phrase, it means the topic is extremely sensitive or they are being very polite.
In 15 Seconds
- To give a hint instead of being blunt.
- Softening a harsh truth with diplomatic language.
- Hiding criticism behind polite or indirect words.
What It Means
Imagine you have to tell a friend their new haircut looks like a hedge. You don't want to hurt them. So, you use durch die Blume sagen. It means delivering a message indirectly. You wrap your criticism in beautiful words. It is like hiding a thorn inside a bouquet. You are being diplomatic. You are avoiding a direct confrontation. It is all about subtlety and reading between the lines.
How To Use It
You usually use it with the verb sagen. The person receiving the message is the indirect object (Dativ). For example: Ich habe es ihm durch die Blume gesagt. You can also use it to describe someone's communication style. If someone is being vague, they are speaking durch die Blume. It is a very common idiom in daily life. It helps you navigate tricky social waters without making enemies.
When To Use It
Use it when the truth is a bit too sharp. It is perfect for the workplace. Maybe your boss has a terrible idea. You don't say 'That is stupid.' Instead, you speak durch die Blume. Use it with friends when giving sensitive advice. It is great for romantic situations too. If you want to break up gently, you might start durch die Blume. It is for any moment requiring a 'soft touch.'
When NOT To Use It
Do not use it in emergencies. If a house is on fire, don't speak durch die Blume. Be direct! Also, avoid it in legal or highly technical contexts. In those cases, precision is better than politeness. If someone is truly not getting the hint, stop using the flower. Sometimes people are 'flower-blind.' Then, you must speak Klartext (plain language). Don't use it if you want to be 100% certain you are understood.
Cultural Background
This phrase dates back to the 18th and 19th centuries. Back then, the 'Language of Flowers' was a real thing. People sent specific flowers to convey secret messages. A red rose meant love, but other plants meant 'you are annoying.' If you couldn't say something out loud, you let the flower speak. Germans value honesty, but they also value Höflichkeit (politeness). This idiom is the bridge between those two values. It shows that even 'direct' Germans have a soft side.
Common Variations
You might hear etwas durch die Blume zu verstehen geben. This means 'to hint at something.' Another version is die Blume weglassen. This means 'to stop being indirect.' If someone says 'Sag es mir ohne Blume,' they want the cold, hard truth. They are tired of the metaphors. They want you to be blunt. It is the verbal version of taking off the velvet gloves.
Usage Notes
The phrase is neutral and fits almost any social register. Just remember that it requires a Dativ object for the person you are talking to (e.g., 'sag es *mir* durch die Blume').
The 'Anti-Flower'
If you want someone to be direct with you, say: 'Sag es mir bitte ohne Blume!' It's a cool way to ask for total honesty.
German Directness
Germans are known for being direct, so when they DO use this phrase, it means the topic is extremely sensitive or they are being very polite.
Don't over-flower
If you use this too much, people might think you are being dishonest or manipulative. Use it sparingly for best effect!
Examples
6Ich habe ihm durch die Blume gesagt, dass der Bericht zu lang ist.
I told him indirectly that the report is too long.
Used here to avoid offending a coworker while still giving feedback.
Kannst du es ihr nicht mal durch die Blume sagen?
Can't you hint at it to her somehow?
A classic use for an embarrassing or awkward social situation.
Der Chef hat uns durch die Blume gesagt, dass wir mehr arbeiten müssen.
The boss hinted to us that we need to work harder.
Shows the power dynamic where a direct order is softened into a hint.
Er war nett, aber ich habe ihm durch die Blume gesagt, dass es nicht passt.
He was nice, but I hinted to him that it's not a match.
Common in dating to let someone down easy.
Bei dir muss man immer alles durch die Blume erraten!
With you, one always has to guess everything through the flower!
Teasing someone who is never direct.
Meine Mutter sagt mir immer nur durch die Blume, dass sie mich vermisst.
My mother only ever hints to me that she misses me.
Used when someone struggles to express deep emotions directly.
Test Yourself
Complete the sentence to say you hinted at the truth.
Ich wollte ihn nicht verletzen, also habe ich es ihm durch die ___ gesagt.
The idiom specifically uses 'Blume' (flower) to represent the softening of the message.
Which verb is usually used with this idiom?
Man muss es ihr vorsichtig durch die Blume ___.
The full idiom is 'etwas durch die Blume sagen' (to say something through the flower).
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Visual Learning Aids
Formality of 'Durch die Blume'
Used with friends for awkward topics.
Sag's ihm durch die Blume!
Standard way to describe indirectness.
Sie hat es durch die Blume gesagt.
Used in office diplomacy.
Wir sollten das durch die Blume ansprechen.
When to reach for the Flower
Bad performance review
Softening the blow
Awkward hygiene issues
The 'mint' hint
Rejecting a second date
The 'it's not you' talk
Disagreeing with elders
Respectful dissent
Frequently Asked Questions
10 questionsIt means to say something critical or unpleasant in an indirect, polite way. You are essentially 'sugar-coating' the message to avoid offense.
Yes, it is very common in both spoken and written German. You will hear it in offices, among friends, and in movies.
You can use it to describe a situation, like Ich habe das Feedback durch die Blume formuliert. However, it is slightly idiomatic, so use it only if the tone isn't strictly legal.
The closest equivalents are 'to beat around the bush' or 'to sugar-coat something.' However, 'durch die Blume' specifically implies a certain level of poetic politeness.
The opposite is frei von der Leber weg sprechen or Klartext reden. These mean speaking directly and bluntly without any filter.
Usually, yes. You don't need to 'flower' a compliment. It is almost always used for criticism, warnings, or awkward truths.
It comes from the historical 'language of flowers' where plants were used to send secret, often difficult, messages without saying them out loud.
No, the idiom is fixed. You cannot say 'durch den Baum sagen' or 'durch das Gras sagen.' It must be die Blume.
Not at all! It is often seen as a sign of social intelligence and empathy. It shows you care about the other person's feelings.
Then you might say: Er hat die Blume nicht verstanden. This means the person was too literal to get the indirect message.
Related Phrases
um den heißen Brei herumreden
Klartext reden
etwas beschönigen
den Nagel auf den Kopf treffen
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