get through to someone
To make someone understand what you're saying
Literally: To move through a barrier to reach a person
Use this when you finally bridge the gap between your words and someone else's understanding.
In 15 Seconds
- Successfully making someone understand a difficult or important point.
- Breaking through someone's stubbornness or lack of attention.
- Connecting emotionally or intellectually when communication feels blocked.
Meaning
This phrase is used when you are trying to make someone understand a point or realize the truth, especially when they are being stubborn or distracted.
Key Examples
3 of 6Giving advice to a stubborn friend
I'm trying to get through to Sarah about her toxic boyfriend, but she won't listen.
I'm trying to make Sarah understand about her toxic boyfriend, but she won't listen.
A difficult meeting at work
It’s hard to get through to the manager when he’s in a bad mood.
It's hard to make the manager understand when he's in a bad mood.
Texting about a sibling
Finally got through to my brother! He’s actually going to college.
I finally made my brother understand! He's actually going to college.
Cultural Background
The phrase evokes the imagery of early telecommunications, where 'getting through' meant successfully connecting a phone call across physical wires. Today, it has shifted from a technical success to an emotional one, reflecting a society that prioritizes mental connection and breaking down psychological barriers.
The 'Wall' Metaphor
Think of this phrase as 'breaking through a wall'. If the person isn't being stubborn or confused, you don't need this phrase.
Don't forget the 'To'
Always include 'to' before the person. Saying 'I got through him' sounds like you physically walked through a ghost!
In 15 Seconds
- Successfully making someone understand a difficult or important point.
- Breaking through someone's stubbornness or lack of attention.
- Connecting emotionally or intellectually when communication feels blocked.
What It Means
Imagine a thick brick wall between you and another person. You are shouting, but they cannot hear you. To get through to someone means you finally broke that wall. Your message actually reached their brain and heart. It is not just about hearing words. It is about emotional or intellectual connection. You use it when communication feels difficult or blocked.
How To Use It
You usually use this phrase with can or could. For example, "I can't get through to him." You can also use it in the past tense to show success. "I finally got through to her yesterday." It often implies a struggle or a long process. It feels like a victory when it finally happens. Use it when you feel relieved or frustrated.
When To Use It
Use this when a friend is making a bad mistake. Use it at work when a colleague ignores your advice. It is perfect for talking about stubborn teenagers or grumpy bosses. You might use it in a text to a friend: "I'm trying to get through to my brother about his car." It works well in deep, emotional conversations. It also fits in professional settings regarding difficult negotiations.
When NOT To Use It
Do not use this for simple information. If you are just telling someone the time, do not use it. It is not for ordering coffee or asking for directions. Avoid it if the conversation is easy and light. Using it for small things makes you sound overly dramatic. It implies a barrier exists, so don't use it if there is no conflict.
Cultural Background
Western culture values "open communication" and "emotional intelligence." This phrase reflects the idea that people sometimes have "walls" up. In the UK and US, being able to get through to someone is seen as a skill. It suggests you are a good communicator or a patient friend. It became very popular as psychology became part of everyday talk. It treats the mind like a destination you are trying to reach.
Common Variations
You might hear people say they are "hitting a brick wall." That is the feeling before you get through. Another variation is "reaching someone." However, get through to someone sounds more like you worked hard for it. You can also say "I'm not getting through," leaving out the person if the context is clear. It is a very versatile tool for your social toolkit.
Usage Notes
This is a neutral-to-informal idiom. It is perfect for spoken English and emails, but use caution in very formal reports as it can sound slightly emotional or frustrated.
The 'Wall' Metaphor
Think of this phrase as 'breaking through a wall'. If the person isn't being stubborn or confused, you don't need this phrase.
Don't forget the 'To'
Always include 'to' before the person. Saying 'I got through him' sounds like you physically walked through a ghost!
The 'Selective Hearing' Joke
English speakers often use this humorously about husbands or teenagers who 'conveniently' don't hear chores being requested.
Examples
6I'm trying to get through to Sarah about her toxic boyfriend, but she won't listen.
I'm trying to make Sarah understand about her toxic boyfriend, but she won't listen.
Shows the struggle of giving unwanted but necessary advice.
It’s hard to get through to the manager when he’s in a bad mood.
It's hard to make the manager understand when he's in a bad mood.
Refers to a professional barrier caused by someone's temperament.
Finally got through to my brother! He’s actually going to college.
I finally made my brother understand! He's actually going to college.
Expresses relief and success after a long effort.
The only way to get through to my toddler is by mentioning ice cream.
The only way to make my toddler listen is by mentioning ice cream.
Uses the phrase playfully to show a child's selective hearing.
I felt like I really got through to him during our walk last night.
I felt like I really made him understand during our walk last night.
Focuses on the emotional connection made.
I've explained the project three times, but I'm just not getting through to her.
I've explained the project three times, but she's just not understanding me.
Highlights a breakdown in workplace communication.
Test Yourself
Choose the correct form to complete the sentence.
No matter how many times I explain the risks, I just can't ___ to him.
We use the base form 'get through' after the modal verb 'can't'.
Complete the sentence to show a successful past attempt.
After a long talk, I finally ___ to my parents about my travel plans.
'Got' is the past tense of 'get', indicating the action was successful in the past.
🎉 Score: /2
Visual Learning Aids
Formality of 'Get Through To Someone'
Used with friends and family about personal issues.
I can't get through to my sister.
Standard use in workplaces or general conversation.
We need to get through to the clients about the budget.
Often replaced by 'convey' or 'ensure understanding'.
It is vital to ensure our message is understood by the board.
When to use 'Get Through To Someone'
Stubborn Friend
Warning them about a bad habit.
Parenting
Teaching a child a lesson.
Work Conflict
Explaining a strategy to a skeptical boss.
Deep Connection
Having a breakthrough in a relationship.
Frequently Asked Questions
10 questionsNot exactly. It means understanding plus acceptance. If someone understands your words but refuses to change, you haven't gotten through to them yet.
Yes! You can say 'I couldn't get through to the office' if the phone line was busy. It works for both literal and metaphorical connections.
It can be slightly frustrated. If you say it to a colleague's face, it might sound like you think they are slow. It's safer to use when talking *about* a situation to a third party.
'Reaching' is softer. Getting through implies there was a specific difficulty or stubbornness you had to overcome.
Usually, no. You wouldn't say 'I got through to myself.' Instead, you'd say 'It finally clicked' or 'I finally understood.'
In American English, gotten through is common for the participle. In British English, got through is preferred. Both are understood everywhere.
Yes. A teacher might say, 'I'm struggling to get through to my morning class.' It means the whole group isn't engaging.
Not necessarily. It usually implies they are stubborn, distracted, or emotionally closed off, rather than lacking intelligence.
Common synonyms include make someone see reason or connect with someone. Resonate with someone is a more formal version.
It is a bit idiomatic for a very formal essay. Use effectively communicate with or persuade instead.
Related Phrases
sink in
When information is finally understood or accepted (e.g., 'The news finally sank in').
see eye to eye
To agree with someone completely.
talk to a brick wall
To speak to someone who is not listening at all.
on the same wavelength
To think in a similar way to someone else.
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