quem não chora, não mama
The squeaky wheel gets the grease
Littéralement: He who does not cry, does not suckle (breastfeed)
Use this to encourage someone to speak up or to justify your own persistence in getting what's fair.
En 15 secondes
- Speak up to get what you want or need.
- Persistence is key to success in Portuguese-speaking cultures.
- If you stay silent, don't expect any help.
Signification
If you don't speak up or complain about what you want, you won't get it. It's the Portuguese way of saying that being vocal about your needs is the only way to get results.
Exemples clés
3 sur 6Encouraging a friend to ask for a raise
Vai lá falar com o seu chefe, afinal, quem não chora, não mama!
Go talk to your boss; after all, the squeaky wheel gets the grease!
Negotiating at a local market
Pode me dar um desconto? Sabe como é, quem não chora, não mama.
Can you give me a discount? You know how it is, if you don't ask, you don't get.
Discussing a missed opportunity
Eu devia ter reclamado do serviço. Quem não chora, não mama.
I should have complained about the service. No pain, no gain.
Contexte culturel
The phrase reflects a cultural reality where bureaucracy can be slow, and personal initiative is highly valued. It is deeply rooted in the idea that the 'squeaky wheel' isn't just annoying, but necessary for survival. It gained massive pop-culture status through the 1930s carnival march 'O Teu Cabelo Não Nega'.
The Half-Phrase Trick
To sound like a real local, just say `Quem não chora...` and shrug. It makes you sound incredibly fluent and culturally aware.
Don't be a 'Chorão'
While the phrase encourages asking, don't overdo it. A `chorão` is a whiner, and nobody likes someone who 'cries' for everything without reason.
En 15 secondes
- Speak up to get what you want or need.
- Persistence is key to success in Portuguese-speaking cultures.
- If you stay silent, don't expect any help.
What It Means
This phrase is all about the power of persistence and vocalizing your needs. Think of a baby. If the baby is hungry but stays quiet, the mother might not realize it's time to eat. In life, if you stay silent about a promotion or a discount, people assume you're satisfied. It's a call to action for anyone being too shy.
How To Use It
You use this phrase as a piece of advice or a justification. If a friend is complaining about their salary but hasn't asked for a raise, you drop this line. You can also use it to explain why you are being persistent. It works as a standalone sentence or a concluding thought. Just remember, it's about the act of asking, not just complaining.
When To Use It
Use it when you're negotiating at a street market in Rio. Use it when you're asking for a better table at a busy restaurant. It's perfect for encouraging a friend to chase a dream. It also fits well in casual office chats about resources or perks. It's a very common 'street smart' philosophy in Brazil and Portugal.
When NOT To Use It
Avoid using this in very solemn or tragic situations. If someone is grieving, 'crying' is literal and this idiom would be incredibly insensitive. Don't use it in high-stakes legal settings or formal ceremonies. It’s a bit too 'scrappy' for a black-tie event or a court of law. Also, don't use it if you're already getting everything you need; you'll sound greedy.
Cultural Background
This idiom taps into the 'Jeitinho Brasileiro' or the general Mediterranean hustle. In Portuguese-speaking cultures, there is a belief that systems don't always work perfectly. To get what you deserve, you often have to nudge the system. The imagery of the nursing baby is universal and deeply relatable. It has been popular for decades and appears in famous Samba songs.
Common Variations
You might hear people just say the first half: Quem não chora... and leave the rest to your imagination. Everyone knows how it ends. Sometimes people swap mama for other verbs in specific jokes, but the original is the gold standard. It’s one of those phrases that defines the proactive spirit of the culture.
Notes d'usage
This phrase is highly effective in casual negotiations. Be careful with your tone; if said with a smile, it's a playful nudge, but if said harshly, it can sound like you're calling someone a pushover.
The Half-Phrase Trick
To sound like a real local, just say `Quem não chora...` and shrug. It makes you sound incredibly fluent and culturally aware.
Don't be a 'Chorão'
While the phrase encourages asking, don't overdo it. A `chorão` is a whiner, and nobody likes someone who 'cries' for everything without reason.
The Musical Connection
This phrase is the hook of a very famous Brazilian Carnival song. If you say it, don't be surprised if someone starts humming a tune!
Exemples
6Vai lá falar com o seu chefe, afinal, quem não chora, não mama!
Go talk to your boss; after all, the squeaky wheel gets the grease!
Classic use of the phrase as motivational advice.
Pode me dar um desconto? Sabe como é, quem não chora, não mama.
Can you give me a discount? You know how it is, if you don't ask, you don't get.
Using humor to soften a negotiation request.
Eu devia ter reclamado do serviço. Quem não chora, não mama.
I should have complained about the service. No pain, no gain.
Reflecting on why staying quiet was a mistake.
Precisamos pedir mais orçamento para o projeto. Quem não chora, não mama.
We need to ask for more budget for the project. If we don't ask, we won't get it.
Used to justify requesting more resources.
Pede pra mãe deixar você ir! Quem não chora não mama, maninho.
Ask mom to let you go! You gotta push for it, little bro.
Informal sibling encouragement.
Se eu não ficasse em cima, ninguém me ajudava. Quem não chora, não mama.
If I didn't stay on top of them, nobody would help. You have to make noise.
Explaining the necessity of being persistent.
Teste-toi
Complete the popular idiom used when you want to encourage someone to ask for something.
Se você quer um desconto, precisa pedir. ___, não mama!
The full phrase is `Quem não chora, não mama`, meaning you must 'cry' (complain/ask) to 'suckle' (get the reward).
Choose the best context to use this phrase.
Your friend is shy about asking for a better seat at the theater. You say: '___'
This is the perfect situation to encourage someone to speak up for a better outcome.
🎉 Score : /2
Aides visuelles
Formality Scale of 'Quem não chora, não mama'
Used with close friends and family.
Telling your brother to ask for more dessert.
Common in daily interactions and markets.
Asking for a discount at a shop.
Used in relaxed office environments.
Discussing resource allocation with a teammate.
Avoid in speeches or formal letters.
N/A - Too colloquial.
When to use 'Quem não chora, não mama'
Street Market
Bargaining for lower prices.
Workplace
Asking for a promotion or raise.
Restaurant
Requesting a better table.
Friendship
Encouraging a shy friend to talk to a crush.
Questions fréquentes
10 questionsNot necessarily, but it is very informal. It’s seen as a practical life lesson rather than an insult, though in a formal setting, it might seem a bit 'street'.
Only if you have a very friendly, relaxed relationship. Otherwise, stick to more formal ways of saying you'd like to discuss your compensation.
No, mama is the third-person singular of the verb mamar, which means to suckle or breastfeed. It refers to the baby's action, not the mother.
The most accurate equivalent is 'The squeaky wheel gets the grease.' Another close one is 'If you don't ask, you don't get.'
Yes, it is widely used in both Brazil and Portugal, as well as other Lusophone countries, with the same meaning.
No, that would be confusing. This is an idiom about negotiation and persistence, not about expressing genuine grief or sadness.
There isn't a direct formal idiom, but you could say É preciso reivindicar para ser atendido (It is necessary to demand to be heard).
Not at all! It can be about getting a better seat, getting attention from a friend, or even getting a free sample of ice cream.
That would be backwards and wouldn't make sense. It would mean 'He who doesn't eat, doesn't cry,' which is the opposite of the intended logic.
It's more of a popular proverb or idiom than pure slang. It's 'folk wisdom' that has been around for generations.
Expressions liées
Dar o braço a torcer
To give in or admit defeat.
Bater na mesma tecla
To keep harping on the same point.
Pedir não ofende
Asking doesn't hurt (it's free to ask).
Dar um jeitinho
To find a way to make something work (often through social maneuvering).
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