By the by

You usually place this phrase at the very beginning of a sentence. It acts as a bridge between two different ideas. You can also use it in the middle of a sentence with commas. For example, you might be talking about a project. Then you remember a lunch meeting. You would say, By the by, are we still meeting at noon? It keeps the flow of conversation natural. It prevents the new topic from sounding too abrupt or random.

Use it when you want to sound a bit more charming or intellectual. It works great in emails to colleagues. It is perfect for dinner parties or social gatherings. Use it when the new topic is a lighthearted side-note. It is excellent for adding a 'P.S.' feel to a spoken sentence. You will often hear it in British English or from people who enjoy literature. It adds a touch of class to your everyday English vocabulary.

Avoid using it during a very heated argument. It sounds too calm and polite for a high-stress fight. Do not use it in extremely formal legal documents. In those cases, incidentally or furthermore are better choices. If you are in a huge rush, just use anyway. By the by requires a bit of a relaxed pace. It can feel out of place in a fast-paced emergency. Don't overuse it in one conversation, or you might sound like a Victorian novelist.

This phrase has deep roots in 18th and 19th-century English literature. Writers like Jane Austen or Charles Dickens might have used it. The 'by' refers to something that is 'secondary' or 'on the side.' Over time, it became a staple of 'gentlemanly' or educated speech. Today, it feels slightly nostalgic. It is like wearing a vintage watch; it is functional but has character. It suggests the speaker is well-read and thoughtful about their language.

The most common variation is definitely by the way. In very formal writing, you might see incidentally. In casual slang, people might just say oh, also. Some older speakers might say by the bye with an 'e' at the end. They mean the exact same thing. In texting, people rarely abbreviate by the by. They usually stick to BTW for by the way. Using the full by the by in a text shows you are being intentional.