Portuguese Reflexive Ver

At its core, a reflexive verb is just a regular verb with a special partner: the reflexive pronoun. These pronouns tell us that the action is bouncing back to the subject. If I say Eu lavo, I’m leaving the sentence hanging. I wash... what? My socks? My cat? But if I say Eu me lavo, the me tells everyone that I am the one getting clean.

In English, we often skip the "myself" part. We just say "I shower." But in Portuguese, you must be explicit. You are "showering yourself." If you forget the pronoun, a Portuguese speaker might wonder who exactly you are washing. It’s like a grammar traffic light; the pronoun is the green light that tells the action where to go. Without it, the action is stuck in the middle of the road.

1. 1Getting these verbs right involves a simple four-step dance.
2. 2Identify the Subject: Who is doing the action? Is it eu (I), você (you), nós (we)?
3. 3Pick the Matching Pronoun: Every person has a specific reflexive buddy:
4. 4Eu → me
5. 5Tu → te (mostly used in Portugal or Southern Brazil)
6. 6Ele/Ela/Você → se
7. 7Nós → nos
8. 8Eles/Elas/Vocês → se
9. 9Conjugate the Verb: Use the normal rules for -ar, -er, or -ir verbs.
10. 10Place the Pronoun: This is where it gets spicy. In Brazil, you usually put the pronoun before the verb: Eu me lavo. In Portugal, it often goes after the verb with a hyphen: Lavo-me. For now, at the A2 level, focus on the Brazilian style as it’s often easier to remember, but keep the hyphen in mind if you’re heading to Europe!

Reflexive verbs are the kings of the "Daily Routine." Any action you perform on your own body usually needs to be reflexive.

• Hygiene and Grooming: Lavar-se (to wash oneself), pentear-se (to brush one's hair), barbear-se (to shave). If you're getting ready for a date, you're going to use a lot of these.
• Waking and Sleeping: Levantar-se (to get up), deitar-se (to go to bed). Even if you're hitting the snooze button for the fifth time, you are still "lifting yourself" out of bed.
• Emotional States: Sentir-se (to feel). You don't just feel happy; you "feel yourself" happy in Portuguese. Eu me sinto feliz!
• Change of Position: Sentar-se (to sit down). When a waiter says Sente-se, por favor at a restaurant, they are literally asking you to "seat yourself."

Don't get "reflexive-happy"! If the action is going to someone else, drop the reflexive pronoun immediately.

If you are washing your dog, it’s just Eu lavo o cachorro. No me allowed! If you use a reflexive pronoun here, you're saying you and the dog are somehow the same person, which is a very confusing situation for everyone involved.

Also, avoid them with general actions that don't involve a person receiving the result. For example, Eu como (I eat) isn't reflexive because the food is the object, not you. Unless, of course, you're a cannibal, but let's stick to ordering pão de queijo at the bakery instead.

• The Missing Pronoun: This is the #1 mistake. Saying Eu levanto às sete instead of Eu me levanto às sete. It sounds incomplete, like saying "I put" in English without saying what you put.
• Pronoun Mismatch: Using se for everyone. Eu se lavo is a classic error. Remember: Eu always takes me. Treat it like a marriage; they are legally bound together!
• Positioning with Negatives: When you say "no" (não), the pronoun must jump to the front of the verb in both Brazil and Portugal. Eu não me lavo (I don't wash myself). The não acts like a magnet that pulls the pronoun toward it.
• Confusing "Se" with "Si": Se is the pronoun; si is used after prepositions. Don't worry too much about si yet, just stick to the se for your verbs.

Reflexive verbs often get confused with Reciprocal verbs. Reciprocal verbs are when two people do something to each other.

• Reflexive: Ele se olha no espelho (He looks at himself in the mirror).
• Reciprocal: Eles se olham (They look at each other).

In the plural (nós, eles), the form is the same, so you have to look at the context. If two people are in a job interview and se cumprimentam, they are shaking hands with each other, not shaking their own hands (which would be a very weird way to start an interview).